"So, I need to talk to you about something, and I'm feeling weird about it so I'm going to basically address your stomach for the next two minutes, and if you could just be ok with that I think it'll be easier for both of us. Also, keep in mind that we've talked about being emotionally vulnerable and I'm about to talk about sexual desires which even though I try to be sex positive, I still feel strange about and (*deep breath*) I'm kinda vulnerable right now."
Then I did just what I said I was going to and talked to his stomach about how I don't necessarily need P in V sex BUT I do need sexual contact after playing. It makes me feel all wanted and liked and things like that. "I totally respect that you want to wait for penetrative sex, but I need to know that you enjoyed what you did when you were hurting me by, um, having some evidence that you see me as a sexual being when we're done."
Admitting this out loud to someone I've never even kissed was weird. But it would have been weirder if I had just assumed he'd somehow magically know. And, proving that he'll be a good partner for me, he repeated what I'd said in his own words (indicating he was listening) made some suggestions on sexual activities that he was ok with to see if I was a) ok with them and b) would feel my needs were being met with them which was super awesome of him.
In short, a five minute chat made me feel nervous, then awkward, then validated and then (take note people) really, really horny.
What can I say, I like a man that I can communicate with.