Dear Wonderful Partner:
This note is to both inform and congratulate you on your recent failure at impregnating me. I know that thanks to the multiple methods of birth control we used that this news is not surprising, yet I still wanted to congratulate you on not having sperm that combine mutant levels of strength, resistance to copper, and determination. Such sperm would no doubt lead to children that qualified for the X-men, and we all know that the third movie of that franchise sucked and what with Picard's passing and all no one wants to be involved with that. No one.
I know you have a choice in whom you fail to impregnate. Thank you for choosing me.
(*Note: There are too many of you too individualize this for - please select the following sentence that best describes the level of adoration you're comfortable receiving from me*)
- I love you a whole bunch!
- I like you in a totally reasonable and appropriate amount that is commensurate with how long we've been
seeing each other.
- I find you moderately tolerable.
Thank you again!