Two of my friends are ballroom dancers, and they celebrated the female half of the couple's birthday with a party at the dance studio they take lessons at. Said party included a free lesson and then a couple hours of actual dancing.
The boyfriend was supposed to go, but due to last minute snafus he had to cancel so I went solo. Here are my takeaways:
1) Don't let not knowing everyone there keep you from going out. I only knew 25% of the attendees BUT I also knew that every time the hosts had introduced me to people, I'd liked said people. Trust your friends to have awesome taste in friends and go to their shindigs!
2) Phoenix, in a rare display of low self-esteem, tried to convince everyone before the dancing starting that we would witness horrible flailing and gnashing of teeth. The lesson I learned that night is that Phoenix Baker is a liar. (Seriously, Phoenix, you're a good dancer, and if you deny it I will break out the video and prove it.)
3) Even if it's a ballroom dancing party, it doesn't have to be evenly split between boys and girls. I've heard of people that fret about their dinner parties being balanced. Seriously no one cares about that. We were pretty close last night with one extra dude. This meant that when we switched partners there was always one guy that got a brief rest. Since it was different guy every time it was no big deal. Once the nonlessons started there was even some same gendered dancing. I got to dance with Phoenix and the Redhead both. At the same time! (Woot!)
3B) Speaking of uneven splits between boys and girls: The Redhead had some prior lessons a long time ago, but when she took said lessons there were more girls in the class so she had to be the boy but it was ok because, and I quote, she liked it. If there was a look between her and Phoenix when she talked about liking being the boy, I, for one, am way too classy to mention it.
5) At the end of the song if you're still vertical, and you had fun then you did fine. (This applies even if you weren't dancing.) It's normal to be nervous about other people judging you but much like you wouldn't judge someone else's dancing style (unless you're a douchebag) then you should assume other people aren't going to judge yours. Unless they are douchebags, in which case, who cares? Why worry about what a douchebag thinks about you? They think everything is sour. (Geddit? Cause they're full of vinegar? Ha!)
"So, I'm having a lot of fun dancing with you. I think we should hang out again. God, I'm bad at hitting on people. Which, by the way, is what I'm doing. I'm hitting on you. Like, right now."
Is that goofy and the opposite of smooth? Yep. Did he still like me despite it? Yep. In fact one might argue he liked me more because of it. Here's the thing. And if you take away one piece of advice from this blog* it's that the person (or people - yay, poly!) you're meant to be with will like you for you. If that guy had thought I was pathetic for getting tongue tied because I was in the presence of such cuteness then it's really for the best we don't date. While I'll be calmer by the time we hang out again, I'll still probably squee about silly things in front of him on a regular basis.
So if you're not a smooth character don't sweat it. Talk to people anyways. Some might get turned off but they're not the sort you should be with. Somewhere there's an awesome person that will find you interesting. Same dude talked a lot about his spiritual journey and being a practicing Buddhist. While I am not a member of that particular faith I sincerely enjoyed learning about it and discussing it with him. I'm sure there are some girls out there that would have been out off by a religious conversation, and that's ok - they just probably shouldn't date him or vice versa.
Oh great. My crack legal team is making me add this next pic.
Also, have any adorkable stories of awkward flirting? I'd love to hear them! Comment below or tweet them at me (@G_Bingley).
*If you take two things away from this blog the second thing should be "If you're going to try anal use lots of lube." I haven't really covered that in a post, but it's really good advice.