We take a new submissive, sit them down and ask them what their hard limits are. Then when they respond with the normal "no kids or animals" we start throwing things at them. So it's ok if he chops your arms off? If they added "no permanent injuries" to their hard limits we'll throw, Can he shave your eyebrows off? Is that ok with you? and other circumstances all to.... um, what. What exactly is the purpose of this? We'll tell ourselves we're educating the newbie about all the scary sadists out there.
I have a potential new partner. We've arrived at the "Let's negotiate" stage, and I was trying to figure out how to go about that (it's been a while since I added a new partner) and I realized that the last few years I've taken the Yes means Yes approach.
I have a safeword, but I've never used it. My particular community here in the 'Burgh has talked a lot lately about consent and how unless you're playing a consensual non-consent scene, "No" is actually a pretty good reason to stop a scene or at the very least pause it and check in. I don't really have a word for yellow, but a guy I played with many years ago had a rule - if I said something that included his first name he would take it very seriously. So "Dammit! That hurts!" would get chuckles; "Dudesname, that really hurts," would get a more serious response. Usually along the lines of "You can take a little more and then we'll be done," but knowing he was listening to me meant I could, in fact take a little more and then I got all the cuddles and "good girls" and other things this sub adores.
A word about check-ins, I've done this from both sides of the flogger and it really doesn't interrupt the flow at all. I can call the boyfriend awful things, hit him really hard, laugh at him for flinching, and then quietly whisper in his ear, "Are you still doing ok?" and after he's nodded go right back to smack talking (while smacking) him like nothing happened. It doesn't take him out of subspace. For me, I love the occasional check-in especially if it's combined with a quick "You're doing really good," before the guy goes back to being mean to me.
With my potential new partner, I'm actually more concerned about the other stuff I know we need to talk about. The whole "So, what are you looking for relationship-wise?" question is bothering me more than worry that he'll call me the "c-word" which is one of my hard limits that I actually do disclose since that one isn't so obvious.
Anyways, keep your fingers crossed for me. And him too since he has to deal with me.