So last night I went to an awesome munch. Like most awesome munches, I spent my time catching up with old friends, making some new friends, and snuggling with the boyfriend. Happiness all around.
Then we went back to his place, and I decided that it would be super awesome to take a bath in his tub. This was probably due to him possessing one of those bathtubs that is actually off the floor because it rests on legs - legs with claws. Because his tub is just that badass. Anyways, he is not a bath taker (he showers people; I’m not saying he doesn’t bathe!) but he encouraged me to hop in. So I did, and got all comfy and then realized, “oops” the soap was way up on a shelf. Technically I could have stood up to get it, but that seemed like a lot of work so I asked him to come get it for me.
Confession here, this was a total ploy on my part to get him to be like “Naked girl in front of me, perhaps I should pay attention to her.” This ploy? Completely successful!
He handed me the soap and watched me use it. Nothing like being watched bathing to ensure that one has the cleanest breasts ever. Then I demonstrated just how much slipperier skin is with soap vs without. For the sake of science, we repeated this experiment multiple times on multiple body parts. Then he did some sort of Dom voodoo that left me scooched forward (He didn’t tell me to move and he didn’t physically move me. I think he just gave me a look or something. He’s quite good at the non-verbal communication). Then he put his hand behind my head and told me to lie back.
Based on the water depth I assumed I was going to go under. I looked at him and asked him if he was serious; he looked slightly perplexed but was like “yes” so I laid back. He ended up stopping me at the point where my ears were under water but my face (including the important parts I use for respiration) was not.
This ended up being surprisingly intense. When he talked I couldn’t make out what he was saying. Everything happening outside the tub was much quieter, whereas the things inside the tub was louder. He was moving the water around and it was echoing. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears. Thanks to the fear he was going to drop me any second it was pounding pretty damn fast.
I’d never told him I have a slight fear of drowning. It’s not a major phobia – it doesn’t keep me from swimming or going on boats or anything, but it is a real fear. I was completely aware that all I had to do was tell him “Don’t dunk me” and he wouldn’t. But... I also knew I was safe with him. Even if he did take me under, I’d be ok because he was there. My “let’s get soap in every crevice I have” game had gotten a lot more intense and my partner in said game, had no idea we were playing. I realized this when he reached a hand out to pull me back up without my nose ever getting wet. “Are you done?” I asked.
“Are you done?” he replied.
“I guess. I just thought…,” taking a deep breath I blurted, “I actually thought you were going to push me under water. Which I don’t think you’d do without talking to me about it first, but I was thinking you were going to, and I’ve been nervous about it for the last 15 minutes and…”
You know how I said he’s good at the non-verbal communication? He’s amazing at picking up on subtext too. I thought I was saying “I’m so silly – I was worried about something that isn’t going to happen.” He heard – correctly, I must point out – “I was scared this was going to happen, and now I’m disappointed that it’s not.”
At least that’s what I assume he heard because he pushed me back, gently, to where I’d been before, grabbed my nose with one hand and looked me straight in the eye for a few seconds. Then he pushed me under.
It was quick. I didn’t even notice that I couldn’t breathe, let alone have enough time to start missing the ability. Still, it was intense - instant sub space for me. Not a desire for pain, but a desire to serve. He stood me up and dried me off which only increased my desire to do something to make him happy.
While he was drying my back he asked if how much I’d liked it. “A lot! It’s weird it wasn’t even scary, it was just super intense. I liked that you kept water from going up my nose too. That was nice of you.”
When I said that, he put his arms around me, embracing me gently. He slowly pulled my hair to the side. Then he got an inch from my ear and quietly whispered “Next time, I’ll leave you under longer, and I’ll let go of your nose. When I decide to let you up you can just cough it out. Next time? Next time you. will. be. scared."
Years from now, if someone asks me when the moment was that I knew I really wanted this to get serious. When he went from “guy I like” to “guy I am definitely going to fall hard for” I’ll have to answer that I’m not completely sure, but it was one of the moments between when he pushed me under water and when he promised to terrify me.
They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Apparently the way to my mine lies through my adrenal glands.